Ubuntu 11.04

The stable version of the famous distro for human beings is out at last. I immediately installed it on an USB flash drive and at first it doesn't look any different from 10.10. What's new in 11.04? That's what I'm gonna find out next, by installing it alongside Windows 7. Or should I try and run it in Windows Virtual PC? Choices...

I'll be back later to post my 2 cents on this great OS (can't be worse than the previous one, right? I mean, what OS is worse than its previous version herp derp? Answer: Portuguese word for "sight")

EDIT: Hardware ain't good enough for Unity... GOD DAMMIT

C++

Today, I've decided to start learning C++

In fact, I'm starting with programming. I've never made a program, per se. I am aware that it might not be the best choice for a beginner, but since it's one of the most used languages I figured I would have quite a lot of resources to learn from, so no biggie.

I'm asking for your help too, fellow bloggers and readers. If you're reading this and you know C++, be a dear and help me out by, for example, providing material I can learn from. Source codes, the best compiler you know of, tutorials, pseudocode... program training... things... and stuff. All that. Thank you.

Autohotkey

Another great tool for the wannabe geek. Autohotkey is a program that runs scripts and it is quite n00b friendly. Install it NOW.

You may shiver at the sound of something as geeky as "runs scripts", but just to show you how simple it can be, here are the two most basic things you can do with it:

 a) Replacing text; so easy you'll sh*t your pants:

  1. Open Notepad

  2. Type or copy paste the following:

  ::message::This message will appear whenever you type "message" and hit Space

  3. Save the file anywhere, like on your Desktop, as an .ahk file. To do this, when saving the file, click the "Save as file" dropdown menu and select All Files. Now name the file anything you want and after its name type the extension .ahk, like so: "whateverfile.ahk"

  4. Double click the file (you must have Autohotkey installed and running, of course)

  5. Type "message" anywhere you want, like on Facebook or something, and hit Space

  6. Congratulations

 This works for anything. You can type WHATEVER you want between the "::__::" (double colon, type what you want, double colon). Here's an idea (not mine, but can't find the link now), make a list to autocorrect your typos.

            Example:    ::mistaek::mistake

 With this, "mistaek" is always replaced with "mistake". Also, if you're wondering about that, the language doesn't matter, you dumb f*ck.

 Note that for each expression you want to replace, you have to put it between double colons. If you want your gmail address to replace "gmail" and your hotmail to replace "hotmail", do it like this:

   ::gmail::example@gmail.com

   ::hotmail::example@hotmail.com

 You can have a file full with these replacements, there are NO limits except for the space on your hard drive, which you couldn't possibly fill with a single .ahk file... so have fun.

 b) Hot keys to run any program; just as easy, so go get those diapers

  1. Same as in a), Open Notepad

  2. Type or copy paste the following

   ^!n::Run Notepad

  3. Same as in a), save the file, name it "whatever.ahk"

  4. Same as in a), double click file

  5. Hit the combo: Ctrl+Alt+N

  6. Congratulations, you've just opened Notepad using a keyboard combo

 ^ stands for Ctrl and ! stands for Alt, so when you type ^!n:: it means Ctrl+Alt+N will run the program specified. This is turning out to be a HUGE post, so for more information on how to make better scripts like these go to their tutorial page and knock yourself out.

That's it for now, hope you make use of this tip, it's really quick and easy. Enjoy

Motherf*cking whiteboard

TODAY I bought a motherf*cking whiteboard. I mean holy sh*t. Yesterday I thought I had been missing out on life because I didn't have Greasemonkey and guess what, it's nothing compared to how much more I could have done and accomplished in my miserable and pathetic life if had bought a M-O-T-H-E-R-F-*-C-K-I-N-G WHITEBOARD when I was pubescent.

You might say "wow, a WHITEboard? that's gay. chalkboards, now that's some manly sh*t". I'd simply reply "enjoy your cancer". Plus, you have to use chalk and that sh*t's a mess. Whiteboards are the way to go and the one I got has f*cking magnets. I bet your gay ass chalkboards don't have magnets.

Want more reasons to buy a whiteboard? Say goodbye to wasting all that paper after getting one, you lowsy f*ck. This is as green as writing gets, BITCH. So go ahead, do yourself a favor and get a whiteboard. Mine is 60x90 cm,  it's the perfect size. In case you don't use metric (which is a decimal system, not a stupid as f*ck duodecimal system like imperial units) that's 23.6x35.4 inches.

You can thank me by telling your friends about this blog.

Greasemonkey

I first heard about this amazing extension about a year ago. It was also the first time I completely dropped IE and started using just the other big three: Chrome, Firefox and Opera. It was only today that I realized how much I've been missing. I've always thought "why do I need this, I have extensions already". Yep, I was that stupid and ignorant.

So what are your waiting for? Go to the extensions page for Firefox, if you're using that, search for Greasemonkey and install it. You don't even need to understand what it is. You just need to know that it can give you more and better "extensions". You can even learn how to make your own, if you have the time and patience.

After installing Greasemonkey (in Firefox, Chrome doesn't need the extension) go to userscripts.org and look around for a bit. Here are two suggestions to get you started with Greasemonkey scripts: this and this as well

Speech Recognition.

I couldn't use speech recognition to dictate text onto this. So I had to dictate it to Notepad and copy it here, just to show you how cool this is. I also timed how much it took me to successfully get this 3 phrases. Time: 5m40s 

LOL, however (serious face on) I just started, my mother language isn't English, even though I'm quite proud of my fluency, and I am using headphones as microphones. Easy trick, just plug the jack in the mic hole and there you go. If you can use speech recognition, once you go to the Ease of Access in the control panel, you'll be able to configure a microphone. I strongly recommend using a good one, cuz this sucks. I'm going to buy a decent mic and soon I'll make short work of blogging on a regular basis.

Until then, dear followers, please bear with my frequent absense, thank you

Remote control

I don't know many ways to remotely control another computer from yours, nor do I fully understand how some ways works, but a pretty simple one is to install TeamViewer on both machines and voila.

You don't need to create an account, you simply need the ID of the PC you want to control, assigned by the program (it shows up right after installation) and the password (also assigned, but can be changed). It's a 5 minute thing, if that much. So go ahead and have fun messing with other's computers by installing this without them knowing. If they're complete n00bs (like you, probably) they'll have no clue of what's going on.

On another note, today a friend of mine had trouble turning on his laptop, so to help him I did what I always do, I googled the problem. This doesn't always work but the first thing you should try is to disconnect the power cord and the battery and hit the ON button a few times (but not like 4 or 5, keep pressing that button repeatedly for a bit). Now wait about 2 min and don't do anything. This will completely discharge the capacitors, or something. You may now reconnect the power cord and/or the battery, and for some reason your machine will turn on now, probably. If it doesn't then you have to get real geeky and open your laptop to check if the RAM isn't moved. From that point on I don't recommend my potencially n00b-ish readers to try anything else, just take it to get it fixed.

That's all I have for today, haven't been much into this lately... will try to change that ASAP

Docks

From Windows's own quick launch bar to RocketDock, these nice Mac-inspired apps will serve as organization, aesthetic and productivity tools all at once. These things really "beautify" your desktop if configured properly. Take mine, for example:

I use RocketDock, but if you don't want to clog up your boot nor your PC any further, there really isn't anything better than Windows's 7 new task bar.